Epiphany!

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Although they are my emotions and by rights I should be able to control to whom they are revealed, I just can't. I've had quite a few years to practice mastering control and yet I still feel as if I'm a passenger rather than the driver. Of something that belongs to me! It is both a blessing and a curse.

I realize that not everyone is able to show their feelings. There are some who are so regimented or damaged that they are either unable or unwilling to reveal a crack in their armor to anyone. In some demented way I envy those people. Shedding tears is sort of an all-purpose reaction in my world. I can cry when I'm sad, frightened, angry, or joyful. There are certain people (family, close friends) and situations (movies, funerals, poetry readings, etc.) in which it's okay to shed a few public tears, but not enough to cover the people and situations in which mine have overflowed. But that's okay. I think I've found a way to put a positive spin on what has been, upon occasion, a rather vexing and embarrassing personality trait. As the saying goes, "If you can't beat them, join them."

One of the reasons I quit the cut-and-dry world of residential real estate is just that-- it was too cut and dry. A property would go under contract and then it would close. Sure, there might be a rather unfortunate episode or two between the building inspection negotiations and funding, but for the most part a real estate transaction is an extremely regimented process. After 12 years of it, I yearn for something into which I can really sink my teeth and reveal my authentic, emotional self. Since it is extremely unlikely that I will ever be able to control the intensity of my feelings, I've come to realize that it may just be possible to channel them to help those who need it most, to harness the passion within me to benefit a cause that inspires those emotions to overflow. I want to give a voice to the voiceless.

Any suggestions???